


Letters to Anika

by iwantcornedbeef



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Gen, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29380449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwantcornedbeef/pseuds/iwantcornedbeef
Summary: Need I remind why we write?Because no one listens.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Reader
Kudos: 2





	1. Poem #1

Every thing carries   
me to you,   
as if everything   
that exists,  
aromas, lights, metal,  
were little boats that sail  
towards those isles of yours  
that wait for me.

— Pablo Neruda


	2. Letter #1

February 23, 2021

Anika,

How long has it been since I last wrote you, since you last wrote me? I think it's been roughly 13 years since I heard from you personally and 19 years since you migrated, since the deal was made. Honestly speaking, I wasn't as happy as the picturesque smile I showed you when you told me about the petition being approved. I apologise if you're only hearing this now.

I wonder how Tito Hernan is doing nowadays. I hope he hasn't grown any resentment towards me for not writing him back. I just couldn't bring myself to, especially after hearing that news.

I still vividly remember how I messed up my first letter at the post office. I can only thank Mang Rodney for showing me the ropes and the friendship that bid from that incident, juist the thought stifles laughter.

Anyway, I am writing this letter as I came across our old ones. I'm coming to you soon, hopefully with a bouquet of roses like how you described it in your poems. I miss you, I really do. 

Improbable and haunting as it already is, I still hope that you'd at least write me back with great news of your well-being, like the first letter you wrote me. 

With Love,

Errol Silva


	3. Letter #2

January 26, 2004

Errol,

Was that really necessary? I do not care about the medals that almost made your neck break. I am fully aware of how academically inclined you are. However, I bet I'd snatch some if I was still there. Literature was never your strongest suit and it has always been mine.

More importantly, have you talked to Tita Nancy and Tito Alex about college? I hope they haven't been pestering you to take up nursing just because of merit and timeliness. It's your life Errol not theirs. Pursue what you're passionate about, engineering. We are far too young to think of feeding other people's mouths. I can't help but feel frustrated for you or maybe the air here has smitten me bad.

On a side note, I'll be moving out in a few days for college or by the time you receive this letter, I already did. Papa urged me to. To quote him, "It's time I let you pursue your passion as you did let me pursue mine.". I could not help but cry hearing him says those kind words.

Write me soon, okay?

Yours,

Anika Rañieses


	4. Poem #2

You can cut all the flowers  
but you can keep Spring from coming.

— Pablo Neruda


	5. Letter #3

May 13, 2004

Anika,

I write this letter with uncertainty whether it will reach you. If it does, please know that you never once left my thoughts, and if it doesn't, yet another addition to the growing stack of umsent letter. I wanted to write you as accurately and timely as I can. Countless times have I tried to write you back but luck hasn't been on my side these past few months.

To cut the chase, I have finally convinced them to let me pursue what I want after a long discussion last March under two conditions; a full scholarship and an unyielding heart. To which, the latter was more than fulfilled whilst the former came with difficulty. One hand would not be enough to count the number of offices I had to approach. Rest assured, all is well now. Someone was kind enough to put me under their scholarship program despite my tardiness.

However, I owe half or maybe— three-fourths of this win to you. Your words pushed me to and gave me solace. I could only wish you by my side to celebrate.

I'm currently finalizing my enrollment. The college might not have much of a reputation unlike other state univerities but does it really matter? This, in itself, is enough. Classes are about to start soon. I am both filled with anxiety and excitement. Thoughts of uncertainty well me up, am I making the right choices?

Enough of me and more of you, I've been in the dark as much as you've been. How's the new place? The university, everything? I hope everything went well. No, I have the confidence that everything is going well. It's you after all.

Yours,

Errol Silva

P.S. You forgot to include your new address in your recent letter.


	6. Letter #4

September 22, 2007

Errol,

Warm sunshines and clear blue skies surround me today. The same weather I used to complain about and now, I miss it. I can't help but daydream eating ice cream with you as time flies by in a day like this, just like old times. I miss it, I miss you. 

With this letter, I deliver you opposing news. I might not be able to write you for the incoming months or at least until the semesters ends. I have never pictured myself putting in so much hard work over a semester to the point that I feel my soul slowly leaving every passing day. My calendar packed with exams and requirements with dues neighboring each other. I feel tired already and the semester has only started. I can only hope for your understanding Errol. Your letters are more than welcome though. Write me, maybe in exchange of what you owe me.

Moving on, how does January, next year, work out for you? To maybe end this series of "I miss you"s that never seem to end in our letters. It's been years since then and I think it is finally time I go back and once again kiss my feet on my motherland's soil. Still a plan in the making but I hope Papa would let me go, as a graduation gift. Wish me luck! 

Yours, 

Anika Rañieses


	7. Poem #3

The only thing  
I knew,  
is that  
I was a second,  
and she  
was eternity.  
I spun in   
clocks  
and she swirled  
in stars and  
I,  
I did not  
deserve her.

— Christopher Poindexter


	8. Letter #5

January 29, 2008

Dearest Anika, 

January is about to pass and I have not heard from you since then. I could only assume that things did not go as planned given your circumstances. News of recession fill the news each passing day, slowly affecting the global economy. I fear that market prices will soon skyrocket and employment be harder to find. 

On a happier note, I have decided to give poetry a chance once again— for some personal gain. Please do understand that unlike you, I am no poet. My words are bland, rigid, and the approval of a dear friend would mean a lot. To cut the chase, I ask for your help and approval with this piece, a haiku. 

Showery spring  
A large emotion simmers  
To you, perfect ghost.

I have not given it, as you termed it, "a name" yet. In line, I ask of you a befitting name, of course, if it isn't too much.

Write me soon. I miss you.

Sincerely,

Errol Silva


	9. Letter #6

February 25, 2008

Dearest Errol,

Have you finally come to your senses to pick up the pen instead of your complicated calculators? Who do I honor the inspiration that sprouted such beautiful poetry? My curiosity grows with uncertainty and confidence. Has someone finally bagged your heart? 

Unnecessary but I vividly remember the day you asked me out of the blue what age I plan to marry. There I stood puffing my chest and jokingly answered that I don't mind dying alone to which you hit me harder more than Papa has ever did. Now, is the deal officially off? Twenty years until we're 40, a lot can still happen.

Going back, it is a beautiful poem. Worthy of praises but I simply cannot do the honor of naming it and taking credit. More so, I urge you to find its name for yourself. It is your brainchild after all and it's very open for interpretation. However, let this not discourage you from writing as I'd love to hear more from you. It brightens my day in this smokey situation. Believe me, it does. It keeps me hopeful that something is in store. This gesture makes me feel like we're closer than our distance dictates. 

To address, yes, things did not go as planned due to the recession. I had to drop out and help Papa. The diploma can wait but the finances cannot. It hurts me to hear his tired voice as he work on wee hours and take on multiple jobs. 

I could only hope that the situation gets better in the future, for you and me. Recessions are bound to end sooner or later after all so do not worry more than you should. Focus on yourself and that degree. Unlike here, it is quite hard to find employment without the proper credentials there. Take care of yourself. 

Sincerely, 

Anika Ranieses

P.S. I find it hard to name my pieces too


	10. Letter #7

March 15, 2009 

Anika, 

It has been more than a year since I last heard from you. News of you and Tito Hernan hardly ever reaches us here. Have you been taking care of yourself properly? 

I am graduating soon and the future fills me with anxiety. Will I be able to make a living out of my passion? Will the industry be as welcoming as I thought it would be? Will a diploma from a third-rate college be enough to get me hired? These thoughts keep me up at night. As you've mentioned, it is harder to find employment here. I could only thank my family for being patient and the scholarships I've received that kept me in school. I am scared to go out into the society. 

I feel pathetic and defeated writing you my troubles especially when I have already found someone. You stand right to claimed that such poem was written with inspiration. I could not find the right words to tell you. I lack certainty back then. What if it was just a passing infatuation or a spur of the moment? I did not know but today I tell you with confidence that I love her, deeply and it has been two months since I professed my love towards her. I would love you, my goodest friend, to meet her given the chance and assure yourself that I am in good hands. 

You, has everything been well? Have you also found the person who one day might seal the deal we had made back then?

To end this letter, I bid you news that I might not be able to write you that often or not until I pass my board exam on November 2010. I hope you understand that I'd be needing everything at my disposal to pass it. 

Take care of yourself and write me soon.

Yours, 

Errol Silva


	11. Letter #8

March 5, 2012

Anika, 

Each passing year, I grew more concerned about you. It has been four years since I last heard you. I miss you, I really do. I wonder if my letter have been reaching you. Have you changed your address for the past years? Please let me know. 

Just like in my past letters, I am doing well. This kind of future isn't so bad at all. I have transferred offices from here and there and each opportunity was better than the latter. If it isn't too much too ask, how is everything on your end? 

To cut the chase, I am writing this letter to formally invite you on my wedding dated November 20, 2012. You can check the specific details on the invite that I have included with this letter. Nicole is eager to meet you, I am eager to see you. 

Please take care.

Yours,

Errol Silva


	12. Letter #9

July 7, 2012

Anika,

Nicole called off the wedding today. I do not know who to talk to and thus, I am writing you once again even without certainty that you would be able to read them. A part of me says that it is better this way. 

To quote you, "Need I remind why we write? Because no one listens.". I wanted to prove you wrong back then but it seems like you really knew better. Look at me now, writing you with little to no assurance that I am being listened to. 

When did this comfort start to envelope me? When did my thoughts start to spill from my head to these pieces of paper? Anika, why do I worry so much for you? After all these years of silence, I still think of you. And this have played a part in how things went down today. Do not blame yourself, however. It is I who is at fault. All I ask, if I am still being heard, that you show yourself to me so I can reaffirm my emotions. 

Sincerely, 

Errol Silva


	13. Poem #4

I admit,   
I was afraid  
to love.  
Not just love  
but to love her.  
For she was a stunning  
mystery. She carried things  
deep inside her that no one  
has yet to understand,  
and I,  
I was afraid to fail,  
like the others.

She was the ocean  
and I was just a boy  
who loved the waves  
but was completely  
terrified to swim.

— Christopher Poindexter


	14. Letter #10

March 30, 2013

Errol,

I might not be the person you are expecting to write back. It is I, Anika's Father or Papa as she called me often. I still remember you and your uninvited visits to pick Anika up at our humble abode. I always knew that she had made you do it. That kid's nerve to skip her chores is immense. Has it been a decade already? I simply cannot tell. 

I am writing to inform you of two things. One, is that your letters have finally reached my home. The current residents have been so patient tracing us back. I am unsure if Anika has ever mentioned it but it has been 3 years since we have been forced out of our previous home, the address you have been writing to. To cut it short, the house we were renting got mortgaged during the recession. Everything went downhill soon after.

Now, it is of my greatest responsibility and heavy heart to inform you that Anika has passed away. Stress has triggered and led to cancer. Please know that she has fought until the end and that she was waiting. I could tell, her eyes gave it all away. I have known her for years and never have I seen her face lit up the way she reads and writes you back. So, I thank you for letting her experience such joy. 

Sincerely,

Hernando Rañieses


	15. Poem #5

Someday, somewhere - anywhere,  
unfailingly, you'll find yourself,  
and that, and only that,  
can be the happiest or bitterest  
hour of your life.

— Pablo Neruda


End file.
